


Nothing We Ever Asked For

by Cup_aTea



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Clint Barton, Multi, No Onscreen Sex, Sex Pollen, and no dubcon, asexual character not forced to have sex, not AoS compliant, sex pollen fic with no actual sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-12 12:09:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4478741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cup_aTea/pseuds/Cup_aTea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a certain Avenger Phil has feelings for.  One he's been waiting a long time to ask out on a date.  So of course the Avengers get dosed with sex pollen.</p><p>And one more thing: Clint Barton doesn't do sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I am not asexual. I have dated one asexual person. I know a little bit about the asexual spectrum as an outsider. If anything here seems inaccurate or bothers you, let me know.
> 
> There are two things I've always wanted to explore with sex pollen fics. 1) Do people have to sleep together, or it is just the orgasms that are important? What if people decided on masturbation instead? 2) How would an asexual character handle a situation like this? Especially depending on the answer to number one.
> 
>  
> 
> Unbeta'd, all mistakes are my own. I do not own any Marvel characters.

“Is it infectious?” Agent Coulson asked, leaning his forehead against the wall of the van.

“We’re not showing any signs of it spreading to the greater population, Agent Coulson,” the scientist answered over the radio. “Only direct skin contact seems to be having the full effect, although there’s some evidence a mild dose could be transmitted through, erhm, bodily fluids to another person. It would only act as a moderate aphrodisiac for the second party.”

Coulson exhaled slowly through his nose in lieu of banging his head against the wall. “And the physical risks?”

“Untreated in a ground-zero patient? Full cardiac arrest, from the notes we’ve uncovered. Heart rate, temperature, and blood pressure all rise dangerously. However it appears that with…continued stimulation the effects will subside.”

“So multiple orgasms and we’re all clear,” Coulson clarified. The scientist on the other side of the radio made an uncomfortable sound.

“Last question: is another participant necessary to stabilize our agents or is personal satisfaction adequate?” Coulson asked.

 _“Aw c’mon, Agent, who wants to go solo with a chance like this?”_ Stark quipped is his team comm, but Coulson had plenty of experience in ignoring him.

“Uh, no sir, it appears from the notes here that single participants were just as likely to rid the substance from their systems as those with partners.”

“Thank you, agent. Continue containing the scene. Make sure everyone is in full protective gear and be sure to assess all agents when they return from clean up. My team and I will be returning to the Tower until the substance is out of our systems. Coulson out.”

He shut off the radio, which left only his team’s commentary in his ear. 

“Avengers, you’re cleared to go. Uniforms stay on until you reach the Tower, Tony, or you’ll be visiting the junior agents’ tech seminar for the next month.”

_“Ugh, fine, Agent Buzzkill. Come on guys, who wants a lift back to the Tower?”_

Phil rolled his eyes at Tony’s antics as he climbed into the front the van and waited for his agents to join him. 

He used the few minutes alone to try and regain his composure. He’d been within the fall out zone, and his erection was making itself known without any encouragement whatsoever. He was glad that there had been no need for the Other Guy on this trip. It was bad enough with Steve walking around in a skin-tight suit. He didn’t want to think about what a completely naked Bruce would do him in this condition. And then there was Barton.

Barton. Clint. The man he’d finally been ready to ask out on a date. After Barton stood by him through months of therapy after the battle of New York. After they’d regained some equilibrium and nobody was walking on eggshells anymore. After Dog Cops marathons that left Phil wishing for more. And now this.

Clint didn’t want to sleep with Phil. Clint was never going to want to sleep with Phil. And Phil had been okay with that. He had spent a long time thinking it over—unrequited was a word Phil had been acquainted with for years now—and he was all right with it. But he was still attracted to Clint and thanks to the mad scientists’ sex pollen, his dick wasn’t getting the message. The view of Steve in his uniform was bad enough, but just the thought of Barton—. _Fuck._

Phil adjusted himself, trying to get more comfortable before the earth-bound Avengers made it back to the van. 

The timing was a mess. The situation was a mess. He wished he knew what Clint was thinking right now and how he was handling all of this. Maybe this wouldn’t ruin his chance. But Phil couldn’t help the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

For now though, he had to wait till they made it back to the tower and rode this thing out. Phil would take care of his team, and when things were settled, he would see where he stood with Clint. That’s what he could do, he thought as Natasha opened the passenger side door. 

Phil felt his scalp tingle with the electricity in the air when Thor flew off with Mjolnir and frowned up at the gathering clouds.

Natasha slid into the passenger seat alongside him. Phil gave her a dry smile.

“I probably should have told them to warn the city to prepare for storms,” he said.

“They’ll ride it out,” she said.

Steve, Clint and Bruce climbed into the back, shedding equipment and taking their seats in near silence. Phil could read the tenseness in each of them and started the car as soon as they were settled.

They spent most of the drive in silence. Phil wished he could say that sex pollen was the weirdest thing the Avengers had ever encountered, but unfortunately it was just a drop in the bucket. He glanced in the mirror at his team. Steve was staring at the ground with his hands white knuckled on the shield, while Bruce sat beside him with his eyes shut and arms wrapped around himself. Barton was in the back corner, eyes hidden behind his sniper lenses, and he was sitting completely still. Phil himself felt like he was going to crawl out of his skin, and he had to fight to keep his attention on driving.

About a mile from the Tower, Natasha got his attention.

“This is my stop,” she said. Phil pulled the van over.

“Natasha,” he called after her. “If you need anything, call.”

She rolled her eyes and gave a lazy salute before heading down the sidewalk.

They reached the Tower without incident. Darcy was waiting for them in the underground parking. She was wearing one of her typical oversized sweaters and had a mug of tea in her hands. Bruce made a beeline for her, and Phil courteously ignored their conversation. Bruce and Darcy headed in the direction of the Hulk-out room, while the other three made their way to the elevator.

It was a tense ride, but thankfully a brief one that brought them to the Avenger’s main floor. A loud crack of thunder sounded overhead as the doors opened. Tony was striding across to meet them the room to meet. 

“JARVIS has battened down the hatches—apparently this is the biggest freak storm New York has seen in a century. Clearly our resident fertility god managed to find his lady,” Tony said, waving a hand at the windows. “So Cap, I’ve discussed it with Pepper, and we’re both willing to take one for the team, so to speak. What do you say to joining us, and we can find out what it takes to wear out that super soldier refractory period?”

“I, uh,” Steve flushed a deep red and glanced sideways at Coulson. Phil also noted that his dick twitched in his pants. (And this was one of those moments where Phil was trying hard to regret designing that uniform to be so tight.)

“Steve, I hope you know by now that that’s not something we’d ever judge you for. I’m certainly not going to start after a day like this,” Phil said.

Steve looked back at Tony. 

“Yeah, I’d like that,” he said.

Tony grinned, smug as a cat that got the cream. “Well, let’s have some fun. This way,” he said, gesturing toward his rooms with one hand and resting the other on the small of Steve’s back. “Pepper’s busy getting comfortable.”

Phil watched Steve’s throat bob as he swallowed (and sex pollen was going on Phil’s list of most annoying things because crazily attractive or not, Captain America was his childhood hero, goddammit.)

Tony called out over his shoulder. “Have fun, gentlemen. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” And with that parting shot, they disappeared into Stark’s private rooms.

“Gotta love Stark,” Phil said weakly, turning to Clint. 

Clint was as tense as he’d been in the van and he still had his sniper lenses on. Phil worked hard to keep his gaze above the shoulders—Cap wasn’t the only one with a well-cut uniform.

“Look, Clint…I know…” Phil sighed and broke off. “Just take care of yourself, ok? Call JARVIS if you need anything.”

 _“I am happy to provide whatever assistance I can to any member of the Avengers.”_ JARVIS replied. 

“Yeah,” Clint said roughly. He turned and headed for his suite. “Goodnight Coulson.”

 _Fuck._ Phil could probably kiss goodbye any chance he’d ever had of dating Clint.

Phil ran a hand through his hair and waited for Clint to get out of sight before heading for his own rooms.

The door had barely swished shut behind him before he was slipping off his tie and stripping off his jacket. He shucked the rest of his clothes as he headed for his bedroom.

“Agent Coulson, even though you generally reserve the floor to ceiling screens Sir has installed for action movies and Dog Cop marathons, I thought I’d remind you that I am capable of playing any sort of video there if you’d like.”

“Thank you, JARVIS,” Phil said as he rummaged through the box in his closet that held his collection of toys. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

He’d probably take JARVIS up on the idea later, but first he was going to take the edge off in the shower. He tossed a couple of the more promising toys on the bed and made his way to the bathroom. Turning the shower on hot, he stepped into the spray and groaned when he wrapped his hand around his cock. It was a fucking relief not to have to ignore it anymore. He leaned back against the cool tiles and stroked his cock, trying hard not to think about any of his teammates.

\---

Clint was staring into his coffee cup with the air of a man well hung-over when Tony swaggered into the communal kitchen the next day. Tony smirked as he pulled the OJ from the fridge and took a swig directly from the bottle. 

“So Legolas, did you have fun last night? I know we did. Steve’s still sleeping it off and Pepper’s already told me she’s not walking anywhere for the next three days. And apparently I owe her a spa day for all the beard burn.”

Clint grunted, not looking up from his coffee.

“What about you? You look like you rode hard and went to bed satisfied. You and Agent finally get your act together last night? I bet that man fucks like a dream. How did it feel to finally tap that?”

Phil had the bad fortune of making it to the kitchen just in time to hear Tony’s last words and catch Clint’s face shutting down. Clint’s coffee cup met the counter with a sharp noise that seemed to take Stark by surprise.

Clint backed away from counter and caught sight of Phil. They had a silent conversation with eyebrows and looks before Clint shrugged, saying, “Whatever, man,” and stalked out of the room.

Phil took the time to pour a cup of coffee before turning to Tony.

“I’m only going to tell you this once because you’re a smart man and only because I have Clint’s permission. Clint is asexual. He is not sexually attracted to people. Sex is not something he looks forward to nor finds life affirming. It’s not a choice or the result of a trauma; it’s just a part of who he is. He doesn’t mind the team knowing, so feel free to tell the others. It was more likely to be a problem with undercover missions at SHIELD, but he doesn’t want to risk compromising the team. So he doesn’t mind if you know, but if you tease him or use it against him, Stark, I will not be responsible for my actions.”

“Jesus Phil, what do you think I am?” Tony said quietly. “Apologize for me if you see him before I do, please. And I won’t give him any more shit about it. I’m sorry if I’ve made anything difficult.”

“Oh, we did that all by ourselves,” Phil said ruefully.

“Well, and the sex pollen,” Tony said.

“And that,” Phil said, heading for the door.

“Hey Agent,” Tony called out. Phil looked back. “Good luck.”

“Thanks, Tony,” Phil said.

Clint was on his balcony, according to JARVIS. When Phil asked, the AI let Phil into Clint’s apartment directly.

Clint was leaning on the railing when Phil found him, looking out across the city. 

“Dollar for your thoughts?” Phil said.

“That the going rate these days?” Clint said.

“Well, we are in Manhattan,” Phil joked.

Clint didn’t reply and Phil watched him for a moment.

“Are we ok?” he asked.

Clint tensed. “I didn’t know we were a we,” he said.

“Not exactly. But we’re not exactly not, either.” They were silent for a moment before Phil said, “I was going to ask you out, before this happened. Guess I waited too long.”

“Or just long enough,” Clint countered. “Now you know.” 

“Clint, I’ve known for a long time.”

“Yeah, but now you’ve had to deal with it up close. I flirt, but that’s all it’s ever going to be. I don’t…I’m not going to—“

“I don’t want you to,” Phil said. “I just want to be with you. I’d like to take you out to a nice dinner, and I’d like to cuddle you on the couch when we watch Dog Cops. Dealing with this stupid sex pollen doesn’t change that.”

“I want all that too,” Clint admitted. “And I’d really like to kiss you. But I’m not able to give you more than that. And I don’t think I ever will be.”

“I’m okay with that,” Phil said.

“Really?”

“It’s something I’ve thought about since you first told me.”

Clint’s eyes boggled a little. “That’s been years, Phil.”

“Yeah, well. I’m a little bit of a lost cause when it comes to you.”

“I'm still going to flirt with you.”

“Okay,” Phil said.

“I’m going to flirt with you till your ears turn red.”

“They do not,” Phil argued before he could stop himself.

“They really do,” Clint said. “It’s cute.” He was staring at Phil’s lips. 

“I’d really like to kiss you,” Phil said.

“Ok,” said Clint, his gaze never wavering.

They moved in slowly and Clint’s hand came up to rest on Phil’s cheek. Phil was about to close the gap when Clint blurted out, “Be gentle with me, Phil” and startled them both into laughing.

They laughed until the tension had gone out of their shoulders and their foreheads were resting against each other.

“Oh my god, you dork,” Phil said, when he caught his breath.

“I’m sorry, I was nervous,” Clint said.

“I like you too, Clint,” Phil said and didn’t hesitate this time.

They kissed, and it was warm and Clint’s lips were a little chapped, and it was everything Phil had been wanting.

“Okay,” Clint said when they broke apart. “I don’t totally get what all the fuss is about, but I’m willing to try some more so we can figure it out.”

“I think we should take it slow, but we can definitely do that if you want. What do you say we cuddle on the couch with some Dog Cops and we try it again later?”

“I think that sounds perfect,” Clint said with a smile.

Phil smiled back because apparently mad scientist sex pollen hadn’t ruined everything after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three guesses who Natasha met up with.
> 
> JARVIS honestly just makes me want to write a sex pollen fic where JARVIS helps all the Avengers get off. Maybe if I ever convince myself to write full on pwp, I'll try it out.
> 
> And if you guys like, there's a scene that hit the cutting room floor, so let me know if you're interested.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally going to go in the first scene when Phil's waiting for the Avengers to return to the van. But then I realized having a third date before they've started dating is not physically possible in the world we live in. So some of it may sound a little repetitive.
> 
> (I was also picturing Natasha with Maria, thanks to SHIELD clearance and all, but you are welcome to imagine whomever you'd like :D Sorry this is not a Nat scene.)

A few weeks later found them in the corner of an upscale restaurant. Nothing over the top, but they’d decided to accept a reservation as a peace offering from Tony. It got them a quiet table and a splurge for dinner. Phil was enjoying himself, and Clint had certainly seemed to enjoy the food, but as Phil watched he was becoming more tense. Their first two dates had been more casual and a lot of fun, but they’d both decided to try something a little more formal after the last one. Phil always loved a chance to see Clint dress up—something that usually only happened for missions—and Clint was all for a chance to show off.

Phil smiled across the table at Clint and reveled in feeling his hand resting heavy over Phil’s own. Clint’s thumb was absentmindedly stroking Phil’s skin as the man himself sat with a heavy frown.

“Dollar for your thoughts?” Phil asked quietly. 

Clint looked at him, before looking back down at where his plate had been.

“I just don’t get why you’d want to bother with me,” Clint said.

“It’s not a bother,” Phil stressed. “I _like_ you. I want to be with you; I want to date you; I want to be in a relationship with you. If it didn’t make us sound like teenagers, I’d call you my boyfriend. And if having sex isn’t part of that, so be it.”

“Nobody’s ever acted like it’s no big deal before.”

“I’m not saying that it’ll never be complicated or that it’s always going to be easy. But that’s part of being in a relationship. When things get rocky, you work together to straighten them out. We’ve always been good at that in the past.”

“This isn’t exactly like fixing an op after the bad guy does something stupid,” Clint mumbled.

“Clint.” Phil let the name hang there until Clint met his eye. “This isn’t all coming up because it’s our third date, is it?”

“I, uh. What?”

“You know—the stereotype of putting out on the third date when it’s getting serious.”

“Um, no, I don’t think so?” Clint said. Then he broke off his gaze with Phil saying, “Maybe?”

“First of all, tell your brain to cut that heteronormative bullshit out right now because no Shield agent has time for that kind of ridiculousness,” Phil deadpanned. It startled a laugh out of Clint, which was worth it.

“And secondly, I’ve known that you don’t sleep with people for a long time now. I’ve known that I care about you for even longer. I never expected to have anything with you, much less have sex with you. So believe me when I say that this is important to me, and I had rather have you without the sex than continue trying to pretend you don’t mean anything to me.”

“Most people don’t seem to think it’s that simple.”

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about it. And after Loki, I knew I’d have to take the chance—I already died regretting it once. And it still took the 0-3-9 incident for me to work up the courage to do anything about it.”

Clint made a face at the mention of the sex pollen incident that they would both rather forget.

“Yeah, but I didn’t exactly handle that well.”

“You handled it like a professional out of his depth,” Phil said firmly. “I’m just sorry you had to go through it at all. And I’m glad we ended up here now.”

Clint looked at him through those ridiculous lashes with a warm smile on his face. He squeezed Phil’s hand. “Yeah. Me too.”

Phil smiled back. “What do you say we ask them to box up dessert? We can take it home and eat it in front of Dog Cops on the couch. I could even give you a shoulder massage—since it is our third date and all.”

Clint grinned happily. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”


End file.
